I wrote Schaller about the S-Locks

I ran out of the old Schaller strap locks. I love those motherfuckers, I trust them with my life. So like everything I love in life, they were taken away.

Poo-hoo poor little whining me!

Well go fuck yourselves, I’ve been through this shit way too much. First the Lynx Zero (A.K.A. Axe), the best deodorant ever made, then Ketchup Cheetos (they came back down here but didn’t taste the same anymore), and now the old Schaller strap locks…

If only they had kept the screws separate from the button! Nope, use ours or go fuck a duck in the ass.

Dude, think for a second! Re-shaping the wood is, in my book, to be avoided at all costs whenever possible. There’s no standard size of anything across different instrument brands, and there’s stuff like Gibsons where even both screws are different on the same instrument, so using the original ones is crucial, which I’ve been doing that on every guitar since I got my first Schaller set.

Well, I finally ran out of the old ones and it’s not easy to find legit ones anymore, so stubborn asshole me actually wrote Schaller (I don’t know what I was expecting, really).

Who knew the owner himself was going to reply? As expected, I was told there’s not even the slightest chance they’re ever bringing the old-school ones back, ever. Seems like the success of the S-Locks blow away everything else, and a snarky “unbelievable!” in the end served as the punchline for turning a very polite message into an even kinder “go fuck yourself”.

I still have my observations about the new design, and even though not everything is bad about them, there’s some stuff they should’ve left alone, the screws being the most important part to me. Besides the thread issue, now any kind of torque applied to the button is now transferred directly into the screw. That could definitely complicate things in the long run.

I just don’t get it, and I’m not gonna lie, I’m kinda butthurt they didn’t thank me for my suggestions and offered me to take over the company.

Nah, seriously, what the fuck was I thinking?

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